This is my rough cut film
Interesting feedback after the screening last thursday, lecturers and classmates pointed out some obvious fails of my film but also others that I haven’t thought about.
It has been impossible to re-shot. I did get actress and location just for one day. And after the feedback on Thursday I really consider re-shot as better option and I have found a better location, a bigger bedroom in But my actress and my crew are no available now due to deadlines and stressful uni weeks. So I think that instead of starting from scratch once again I am going to invest all those hours it would take into editing. Hopefully I will get something better.
Things I am managing to fix
-Sound design. The clock sounds is some times really hight but other times you cannot even hear it. I have recorded the clock sounding for 3 minutes and keep it the whole movie and then key-framing it in order to play with volume.
-The face on the mirror. I did reframe the shot and you cannot see her anymore. Not really big reframe so hopefully it doesn’t affect very much the shot quality.
-People do not get the story properly. They think that she has a partner in the war or that the diary is from his father maybe. Put a voice over in order to guide the audience didn’t seem to me as the very best idea. Just read the diary wouldn’t make such a huge difference as you have to wait until the last moment to understand it, and put a voice over from the very beginning would spoil the story. I want the audience to know she is a soldier but I dont want to tell everything from the very beginning, I prefer kind of waterfall structure, so with the boots, some pictures or posters and then the diary you can build up the idea, no matter if you reach it up a few seconds after wathcing it.
So, apart from the poster that I already had before I have faked a picture of she dressed as a soldier in order to make the evidence. It is impossible that people do not get the idea if they watch her wearing the uniform. So I have refilmed just this scene by myself adding this new picture.
-Some shots are out of focus. As we are not re-shooting, I have added a sharpen effect while editing and I think it is quite concealed now.
-BBC contents in my film. This has driven me mad for ages. When shooting I put a BBC video from their web page and let the logo thinking that if tou left the brand its actually kind of a reference, you are far away from being stealing anything. However in the feedback they told me I should remove the audio and I did it. In fact by that moment the audio was a fake already so I just have to delete the journalist voice over and leave my paranormal sound that is a creative commons. In relation to the image, that last just about 2 seconds I have done some research. On BBC web page you can find this quite easy All rights, including copyright, in the content of these BBC web pages are owned or controlled for these purposes by the BBC.In accessing the BBC’s web pages, you agree that you may only download the content for your own personal non-commercial use.Except where expressly stated otherwise, you are not permitted to copy, broadcast, download, store (in any medium), transmit, show or play in public, adapt or change in any way the content of these BBC web pages for any other purpose whatsoever without the prior written permission of the BBC´. However is not that easy to find contac information to ask for that permission!
Anyway I am probably getting in troubles in terms of show or play in public, but is such a ridicoulous time, just two seconds. And it also says personal non-comercial use and I am doing that kind of use I guess. So I keep researching and I found a section called ´Creative Archive licence´that allows me to do what I am doing as I am a student and I do not have commercial purposes.
-Soundscape Include more sound effect/Ambient sound/Background noise/
I have Recorded a long track of clock noise. and play with it key framing.
Record the ambient sound of a bedroom
Unlike with the shots I can re-record sound non-depending on someonelse availability
diary seems to fake, it should be smaller to carry it to the war and it should be a bit dirty after Afghanistan days. I should have re film to get this because I can remake the closeups with a better diary but as it is also in wider shots handed by the actress there is no pint in doing the closeups but not the wider ones, as I would be just creating faux de raccord.
Things I am not managing to fix
-Light seemed strange, very artificial. Lots of shadows on the wall that are not cinematic at all.
I tried to some adjust in the edit stage but no effect can fix this. No colour correction or adjust effect is able to make shadows disappear. It just spoils the shots, you can get them really overexposed and shadows are still there. Also I played with lighting effects